My Dad

My father Harvey Carlton Meek went home to be with the Lord on July 9th, exactly one year ago today. He died at the age of 92, and while he did not approach the age of the biblical patriarchs, I think it could be truly said of him that he died “an old man and full of years.”

I was blessed to be his son though I was well into middle age before I really started to understand him and before we could at all say that we were close. He was a good man, perhaps even a great man, but he was a man. Here are my reflections on his three greatest strengths and a couple of weaknesses.

I will start with his strengths:

My dad was faithful. He was married to the same woman for 68 years until her death four years before his own. He pastored two churches. He stayed at one 16 years and the other 12 years. Those numbers in themselves speak of faithfulness; but there is more. Both of those churches only had about a dozen people when he took them. He and mom worked (usually full time outside the church) and persevered to build each one to over a hundred in attendance and established them in a suitable building. I have no doubt that he will receive the reward of those who hear, “Well done, good and faithful servant.”

My dad was generous. My parents never had a lot of money, but they were careful in their spending, and more importantly they were always faithful in tithes and offerings. Therefore, even though they didn’t have a large income they were often in a position to help others. Certainly they helped me. They sent me into marriage free from debt. Because of the church situations they were in they would often put more into the plate than they ever took out. Moreover, they often helped the young and struggling in the church. How many times they “lent” money only to not only never be paid back but often to lose the friends they helped as well? Once those who borrowed decided to not pay back they usually disappeared. It was often a cause of grief to them, but the “next time” they were always ready to help again.

My dad was joyful. He grew up in a generation where joy was taboo in the pulpit so he rarely showed it there, but those who knew him often described him as a “cut up.” As a child I usually found this to be embarrassing but as I got older I came to appreciate it greatly. Old people usually either get sweeter or meaner. My dad definitely got sweeter. I have no doubt that it was his love of joy that brought this about. In spite of the fact that he spent over a decade caring for his invalid wife, even on the days he complained the most, he was always ready for a laugh.

His weaknesses:

My dad did not know how to show affection. This was likely my greatest charge against him when I was young. As I grew older I came to truly understand that this was not at all his fault. His father died when dad was 4 years old. His mother never remarried and raised five children during the depression in pretty hard poverty. He simply never saw that way of expressing love. One of my fondest memories of Dad happened a couple of years before he died. We were alone and he told me, “I see you and your family, and the way you and Isaac treat each other, and I think, ‘I could have had that.’” There were tears in his eyes. That’s when I knew for certain that it wasn’t his fault.

My dad did not deal well with change. OK, few do, but my dad seemed to carry the inability to embrace, or even acknowledge, change to Everest levels. Time seemed to stop for him somewhere in the 50’s. The only technology after that decade that he truly embraced was the television remote control. Actually, technology rarely appeared on his radar. The changes that really disturbed him were things related to the church. Modern Bible translations? Ridiculous. No hymnals? Blasphemous. No pews? Why on earth would anyone not want to sit the way the disciples did? It was mainly for this reason that I was loath to come and follow him at Smyrna “First” Assembly. To my utter amazement my dad saw change after change happen at our church, and while they were not always choices he would have made, he always supported me.

Obviously, there is much more I could say about my dad, but these things will do for now. It took me awhile to learn it but I am very blessed to be his son. I use that in the present tense not because I am still alive but because he is still alive as well. The greatest gift he gave me was to introduce me to his wonderful Savior Jesus Christ. Through Jesus he has eternal life, and so do I.

I don’t know if people in heaven read blogs, but I want to say, “Thanks, Dad. We didn’t always see eye to eye but you always did your best by me. If that could be said of all dads in this world this would be a far far better place.”